Well, I write this post with a very humbled heart.
I just learned that one of my friends' child has been diagnosed with anacephaly. He is currently 20 weeks along. Anacephaly is a disease where the neural tube doesn't close at the base of brain stem (I think), which results in the brain and skull not fully developed. It is 100% fatal.
He is my friend's first baby - and he is a miracle. She isn't able to get pregnant and the fact that she got pregnant naturally was a miracle in itself. She and her husband have had a name ready for him for awhile: Benaiah. It means God has built this.
You know that verse in Psalm 139 about God knitting me together in my mother's womb? It's hard for me to imagine God knitting him and building him, imperfectly. Shouldn't a healthy baby equal perfection? Aren't God's works perfect?
As I just typed this, I remembered the way God described his works in Genesis. Not perfect, but good...and very good in the case of us (humans). Only He is perfect.
As I prayed for them, I prayed for a miracle - that little Benaiah would suddenly be healed. Because, I confessed to God, that's how I would see Him working this situation for good. However, God may choose to work a miracle in a completely different way - and it will still be good. Because His works are good - and He promises in Romans 8:28 that he will work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Sometimes, I feel like God is trying to shake my need for the ideal out of me. Why shouldn't he? I equate ideal = perfect...and I create standards of idealism that frankly, He has never imposed upon His people.
Today, I am humbled by the gift of life. It is quite frankly, the greatest gift that we have been given...and how do we spend it? God chose that WE should have life; He chose that WE should be able to breathe in and out, and do things, and know people - and love others & experience their love. How do we live this gift? Do we squander it? Do we numb ourselves from the feelings of life? Do we separate from the things that are hard and don't come naturally? Do we complain about the short-comings of those in our life because they aren't perfect and they're not like us?
Today, as I grieved over my sin and my own wretched self-serving heart, I felt incredibly humbled that God blessed my parents with a healthy baby girl 30 years ago...and I felt the need again for a Savior to save me from my sin so that I could live the life that He has imagined and planned for me. This Christmas, I want to be emptied of myself and filled with His Spirit so that I can love fully and deeply.
The Lord has given; the Lord has taken away. May the name of the Lord be praised!