tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20588156956480884442024-03-14T03:47:39.611-05:00Sweet DistractionJessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-82470327499708982642011-06-26T17:00:00.000-05:002011-06-26T17:00:18.643-05:00Switcheraoo!Dear Faithful Followers,<br />
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This note is to inform you that I will now be blogging at <a href="http://dannyboyandjgirl.blogspot.com/">http://dannyboyandjgirl.blogspot.com/</a> and no longer posting on this site. In fact, posts have already been made at the above site. If you've been wondering what we've been up to lately, go check it out! <br />
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If you follow this page, please start following the other! It will be updated more often...especially since I don't have a job right now! :)<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
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JessicaJessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-14901152781817009472011-04-26T09:12:00.000-05:002011-04-26T09:12:10.205-05:00Sweet Dreams are made of this...I've been told that wedding dreams can get pretty crazy - especially right before the wedding. Well folks, we are officially one month and 3 days away from the big day, so it must be time! <br />
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The truth is, I've been having wedding dreams since college. It just so happens that in those dreams I wasn't actually marrying someone in real life. There was always a theme in those dreams: marry the right guy. I all of my pre-wedding dreams (pre-dating, pre-engagement) I am in the process of marrying someone who either really doesn't love me or whom I really don't love. However, this realization always seems to come on the day of the wedding...and then I am forced to choose myself or my "obligation" to the wedding and the fact that my parents have shelled out a boat-load of money. Trust me, I always did the right thing, even though I wrestled with it in my dream.<br />
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When Dan and I were first dating, I had a dream that we'd broken up. I moved on rather quickly and ended up getting engaged. As it turned out, Dan and I then got an internship at the same company (for a major fashion designer). In our hiatus, he realized that he loved me. Then, he discovered I was engaged and left a wedding dress for me with this note: "You will look beautiful in this. I love you." I knew I had to marry him and not the other guy.<br />
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Two months ago I had my first wedding dream as an engaged person. I had a dream that I was getting married - but not to Dan, which was funny because he was the one that I wanted to marry. He was my best friend, and we did everything together and spent all our time together - and I was getting married. But, then I realized that I wasn't marrying Dan; I was marrying Kevin James. And he (KJ) would talk to me about how excited he was to get married to me, but all I could think about was how I really wanted to be with Dan. When I thought about kissing my husband - it was Dan; when I thought about being with my husband - it was Dan...not that other guy. So, I was a little panicky when I realized that I wasn't marrying Dan but this other guy. I didn't know how I was going to get out of it or why I would even agree to marry someone who wasn't Dan. <br />
Then, I woke up and remembered that I AM marrying Dan and I do get to marry my best friend. :)<br />
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Last night, I had my second wedding dream. This one is a little strange to me, but I will recount it the best that I can. My friend Andrea is very instrumental in this dream; I believe that she arrange the entire wedding and set me up with the man I was supposed to marry. The man I was marrying was Thai and really needed to get married. Apparently, I was the best 'outlet' for this to happen. <br />
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He was a very nice and understanding man; not unattractive, but I was not really attracted to him. He was also in love with another woman, but for whatever reason could not marry her. She was at 'our' wedding. Apparently, Dan was still in the picture because I knew that I loved someone else and wanted to marry him. Now, Mystery Husband-to-be and Andrea were both aware that I was marrying Dan (and Dan and I were still getting married) - but also kept impressing upon me the fact that I need to marry MH2b. <br />
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I don't know that MH2b and I interacted a lot, but right before the wedding I was very sad when I realized that I would have to divide my affection between these two men. He kept asking me what was wrong and obviously cared for my feelings (I said he was a nice man), but I didn't feel like I could say, "I can't marry you," because every one was telling me that I must. <br />
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The ceremony began. It began with basically a synopsis of what a great guy he is; he was at the front of the room - and I was in the back on some couches with Andrea and her friends. The entire time, I just kept picturing Dan and realizing how much I wanted to be with him <em><u>only</u></em>. I was not interested in being a shared wife, no matter how understanding MH2b was...and when I realized that there was a woman who actually <em>loved </em>him and whom he loved, well, my decision was easy.<br />
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His friends now tried to convince me that I couldn't cause a scene and embarass him so publicly. But, folks, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do. So, I stopped the wedding to MH2b explaining that I can only love one man - and he deserves all of my love and affection; it cannot be split no matter how kind another may be. And, MH2b deserves to be fully loved - and I cannot do it. In the end, I only want to be married to Dan because I love him with all of my heart, soul and strength. I cannot share that love with another.<br />
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So, in synopsis, my pre-wedding dreams have the same theme: will I choose Dan? Yes, I will.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-59475246395805955862011-03-27T21:33:00.000-05:002011-03-27T21:33:39.296-05:00Those 3 little wordsIt's as if we grow up knowing that the three most powerful, most beautiful, most expressive words are "I love you." When I was younger, I stumbled across my mom's journal from her junior year of college. The ONLY entry in the entire thing was, "Last night, Brian said those three words that every girl longs to hear..." I didn't have to ask, "What <em>were </em>those words, Mom?" However, in this post I would like to posit that the three most powerful and significant words that we each long to hear, but rarely do - and offer too infrequently, are the words, "You are forgiven."<br />
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How many of us grew up fighting with our siblings? When push finally came to shove and one of us started crying, we immediately had to say, "I'm sorry." <em>Most </em>of the time, we said it reluctantly <em>and </em>without any feeling of sorrow. At certain times, our mothers would make us accept the apology. Sometimes, she even made us say, "I forgive you." Our heart wasn't there, usually. It's like we learned to begrudgingly offer forgiveness.<br />
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Here's the reason why I say the words "You are forgiven" are more powerful than, "I forgive you." "I forgive you" positions us in the seat of power. We may offer these words as the injured party to the party that did the injuring...but we don't let go very easily. Stating, "<em>You</em> are forgiven," actually reminds us that this person has been extended the same divine mercy and grace from Jesus Christ that we have. It places me on the same level of this person, which is proper. It reinstates both of us to where we both belong. It's said that at the foot of the cross, there is level ground. The act of reconcialiation voiced in the words, "You are forgiven," places the giver and receiver there.<br />
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Today, I witnessed an event where reconciliation was needed. A misplaced scooter fell over and broke a garage door. A blame-game ensued. The boy did what he was supposed to; he put the scooter away - just not where it was supposed to go. It <em>happened</em> to fall over. However, the brunt of the blame was placed on him. He bore the burden of knowing he'd upset his dad and wanted to place the blame anywhere else but on him - but he couldn't. <br />
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Last week, I over-reacted in various "discussions" with my parents. It was definitely the weekend of "doing what I don't want to do and not doing that which I want to do" OR more aptly put, "behaving the way I don't want to, and not behaving the way I want to." I apologized - multiple times - and just wanted to know that the love had been restored, even though I acted ridiculously. My little friend in the above story is the same way. He just wants to know that the love is still there even though his mistake may cost his family hundreds of dollars.<br />
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Isn't this a position that we all find ourself in, at some point in life? Haven't we all screwed up, behaved in a way that we <em>know </em>is immature and not at all how we <em>know </em>we <em>should </em>act? Everyday we trespass against another - knowingly or unknowingly. AND everyday, somebody else trespasses against us. We want to hold it against those who wrong us because we desparately want to be <strong>right</strong>. We even try to convince God that it wasn't our fault so that we are in the right. We come by it naturally enough. In the creation story, we learn all about how to play the blame game. When God questions Adam, he's not just blaming Eve. He's really blaming God: "the woman that <em>You</em> put me here with gave me something to eat." He's really saying, "You know, if You hadn't created her, I wouldn't have disobeyed. This really has nothing to do with me. It's really your fault."<br />
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Playing the blame game is something we can do all too well. Just because we're good at it does not mean that it's good for us to engage in it. Do we really feel better when we place our hurts and frustrations on another person? How do we feel when it becomes us; when we bear the brunt of the another's trespasses? It doesn't solve anything. It just begins a cycle of blame & guilt & desparately trying to be in the right, while wronging another.<br />
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That's what is so remarkable the Cross. It's the great cycle-stopper. On the cross, we're told that Jesus absorbed all of that wrongdoing. All of the ways that we have hurt another, He took that - and nailed it to the cross - where it died. All of the ways that others have hurt us, He took that, too - and they were nailed to the cross - and they died. Additionally, all of the ways that we wronged God by blaming Him for our lot in life, for what we, ourselves, did - He took that, too - and they died. That death erased the scoreboard against us - and 'for' us (the one that makes us more right than another). It made us equal. REALLY - all equally forgiven. All given the equal chance to have new life - by receiving mercy instead of punishment - and grace instead of banishment. <br />
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How often do you remind another that they are forgiven? Let's try it. When someone apologizes to us, instead of just saying, "I forgive you," let's also add, "You are forgiven." Let's restore them to their position of love and trust in our lives. Mistakes happen; wronging another happens - let's let people know that we give grace - unmerited favor - because we've been given it, too.<br />
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(I'm not advocating being a doormat or allowing behavior that harms you - just petitioning for us to be more quick to remember we are forgiven.)Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-8070822205888384732011-03-23T10:01:00.002-05:002011-03-23T10:11:17.995-05:00Light from LightMy title comes from a line in the Nicene Creed describing the divine nature of Jesus: Light from Light, True God from True God; begotten not made, one in being with the Father. (I could have some of those phrases mixed up; I am, after all, a newly minted Catholic.) My subject matter is "signs from God." <br />
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At times in my life when I have been hard-pressed, downcast in spirit, crushed, I have looked to God for some sign of encouragement: to know (and be reassured) that this is truly just a moment in time; that "this, too, shall pass." That this season I am walking through is really just a <em>season</em>, not what will be until the end of time. Many times, He has answered me with light - brilliant displays of the sun breaking through and illuminating creation.<br />
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How like Him! What an allegory of Himself! Jesus is the Light of the World. The Son who broke into our world, broke the chains and burdens of sin and darkness that have enslaved us, and by living in us, illuminates our lives! This is the transfiguration that James, John and Peter witnessed.<br />
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[I have just taken a divine tangent. Now, I'd like to get back to what I originally intended to write.]<br />
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When I was young, my mom told me that when the sun would break through the clouds, she thought of it as God smiling down upon us. <br />
<img height="300" id="il_fi" src="http://manspeak.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/sun-breaking-through-clouds-400.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="400" /><br />
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That has stuck with me. Whenever I am feeling low, I look to the sky; to the heavens from where my Help comes.<br />
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About two and half years ago, after a relationship had ended (or so I thought), I spent an afternoon driving through the rain dropping students off at their schools. On my return trip, I just spent time crying (literally) out to God - wondering when things would finally work out - and asking specifically for some encouragement. As I drove into Ames, the sky immediately turned from gray and rainy to brightly illuminated by the sun. It was early October, and the trees glistened. The world was shining and golden. I knew in my heart that God was faithful; that He had this; that the time would come - sooner that I thought and in such a way that I would surprise me with its goodness.<br />
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Last year, after Dan and I had just visited my grandpa in the nursing home, we were driving back to Ames. It was early on a Sunday morning, just four days before Grandpa passed from this life. My grief was so strong. That morning, I have never witnessed the Iowa landscape lit up the way it was. The sky was this amazing aqua-blue and the fields of northeast Iowa were a magnificent green. There were low clouds in the sky illuminated by the early sun. It was breath-taking. I was in awe. As I drank it all in and thought how my grandpa would LOVE to see a morning like this, knowing that he couldn't in the nursing home, the truth hit me that even a morning as breath-taking as this doesn't even begin to compare to Heaven. The beauty and light that we see here is nothing compared to the glory that awaits.<br />
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Today, while I praying and unloading my burdens, which feel particularly heavy this week, God just broke through. The ray of light that came streaming into my window was piercing it was so bright. I just had to stop and praise Him for who He is. I <em>thought</em> that this ray of piercing light was a way to say, "Hey Jessica; it's all right. I'm going to make sure you get that job you just applied for." I was all psyched to write this blog about how that ray of light you might have witnessed was for me because God is good & got me this interview or I made crazy headway on my work or - whatever.<br />
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I got the rejection email this morning about the job. It hurt, a lot, actually. I still have a crap-ton of work to do to graduate. It's overwhelming, to be sure. Maybe the Light's message today is, "See? Even when the clouds are thick and pressing in on you, I can pierce it. Keep looking to me. I am the Light. I will guide you. You will not be pressed too the point of crushing; I will keep you. I will provide. Keep the faith, dear one. Keep the faith."<br />
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In the words of St. Paul, "We are pressed, but not crushed; persecuted, but not abandoned; perplexed, but not despairing; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Corinthians 4:9) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, <u>neither the present nor the future</u>, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)"<br />
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Amen. Let it be so.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-75491605344045882692011-03-22T08:50:00.000-05:002011-03-22T08:50:29.695-05:00A lesson learned - 15 years laterThis is my official shout-out to my high school science teacher, Mr. Merlin Brown. As a class, we rarely appreciated what he taught us, but now fifteen years later, I am finally recognizing the value of one of his assignments.<br />
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In ninth grade Physical Science, we each had to come up with a science fair project and write an actual research paper about it. We'd competed in science fairs since 6th grade - and I'd done pretty well, but we never had to write an <em>official </em>research paper. We just reported what we thought would happen and what did happen. Now, we had to choose a research topic, develop our science fair research question, test it and then write about it. It was <strong><u>hard</u></strong>! <br />
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I could now go into detail about my project and how it was the first year I didn't go onto to regional or state; I won't. That's not what this blog is about. <br />
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As part of this research paper, we had to make notecards for all the research articles that we read. Then, we were supposed to arrange said notecards into the sections of our report. Sounds smart & logical, right? Well, as 15-year-old procrastinator who wrote her reports the night before (and still got an A), it sounded like <strong>work</strong>. A lot of unnecessary work, at that; did Mr. Brown not realize that I had a <em>life?</em> Things to do and people to see - and all that jazz?<br />
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Now, fifteen years later as the literary review portion of my thesis-like creative component is staring me in the face, I thought to myself on Saturday, "You know what would make this easy? Note cards!" I have read articles, highlighted them, thought about them - but the information and thoughts kind of evaporated when I didn't think about them for a few days. You know what would "save" that information and keep it in a handy location? Note cards! <br />
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So, you know what I'm doing in <em>all</em> of my spare time this week? Writing note cards! (and this blog, apparently) Perhaps the lit review won't seem as daunting now. When it's all said and done, I'll have Mr. Brown to thank.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-7034451854284863752011-02-15T08:23:00.001-06:002011-02-15T08:23:36.642-06:00Some Body to Love<span xmlns=''><p>While reflecting on my past weekend with Dan, I had a bit of a revelation about love, God and the Church. I love how when we are open the Holy Spirit can teach us so many things about God from our everyday interactions. I especially love when He does that while I spend time with someone that I love being with! <span style='font-family:Wingdings'>J</span><br /> </p><p>I know that Dan loves me. I mean, he did ask me to marry him – so, that's gotta mean something right? I should KNOW that fact is true every day (and I do – but there's a difference between knowing something and trusting in it in such a way that you are abiding in that truth). Yet, when living 2000 miles apart and not seeing each other for six weeks, I become susceptible to fears. I wonder what living together will be like after we get married; I mean, will I even like living with someone else or will I be so used to living on my own that I won't even like being in the same room with him for too long? I can get focused on what I am giving up: familiar places and faces, rather than focusing on what I am gaining: a new life with the man that I love, entering into a calling to love him with my whole life and to be loved by all of his. <br /></p><p>There I was on Thursday evening, walking down the runway with my heart in my stomach because I *finally* got to be with my love, again. Butterflies of excitement consumed me; I always wonder if he'll be as excited to see me as I am to see him; I always hope that I'll still be pleasing and acceptable him. After a weekend spent with Dan, I am reminded and have an even better understanding of the height, depth, and breadth of his love for me. This weekend, I was sick. (Yes; how awesome, huh?) After six weeks of not seeing him and 364 days of NOT having the 24-hour stomach flu (yes, last Valentine's Day I also came down with the bug), I was sick-sick-sick. I wouldn't have blamed him if he quarantined me to a certain area of the apartment; he can get sick pretty easily. He didn't. He was so good, caring and gentle with me…and I experienced how unconditionally he loves me. <br /></p><p>I know all the time that Dan loves me. We talk daily; we tell each other daily…but sometimes, we have to experience – in the flesh – the height, depth, width or breadth of love that someone has for us before it sinks in, just a little deeper, into our souls. (Some of you might be familiar with the phrase "head knowledge versus heart knowledge.") As I thought about this truth, the Holy Spirit called to mind a much greater truth: this is why we need the Church.<br /></p><p>The Church is to represent Christ's Body on earth; we are the manifestation (visible reality) of God's love and presence on earth; we are the kingdom of God. How many people do you know who use the line, "Oh – I don't need to go to church. I believe in God; I read my Bible; I pray; I'm spiritual; it's me and God – and we're good." No, you're not. You are missing out on the beautiful reality of the Body of Christ. We are meant to not just live in relationship with God, but with others – especially those who are His. <br /></p><p>I remember a friend of mine telling me about her son who wanted to get married. He said to her, "I know that God loves me, Mom; I know that is enough…but, sometimes, I just want someone with flesh on; I want to love some<em>body</em>." The Church is our opportunity to love some<em>bodies</em> – and to be loved by some<em>bodies</em>. The key to really experiencing this reciprocating love and care requires vulnerability with each other. We need to be open to giving our time, our hearts, our joys, our hurts, our prayers and receiving the same from others. It is very true that we can grow in many ways through our private times of study, prayer and reflection; often, this time leads me to a greater amazement and awe of God…but, it's when I see Him act through people in my life that I really key into the truth of His deep, faithful, providing love for me. His love for me isn't just something written in a book (or spoken over the phone); it's real and tangible. By loving others, I also am living out the truth that He loves and cares about people. Realizing this, I'm invigorated to become more involved in the Body and to be the Body to those I come I contact with. </p></span>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-13386797731277725792011-01-22T08:57:00.000-06:002011-01-22T08:57:31.251-06:00NegativeContrary to the title or what you may perceive from a title like that, I am not venting or going to be negative in this post. (However, some of you may hate me at the end of it.)<br />
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This past week, we have pretty consistently seen this little guy - in front of our temperature. On Wednesday, I was mailing a package to Dan and it was -2 at 8:30 in the morning. For the last four mornings, it's been at least that temperature or lower.<br />
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Lord willing, in a year from now, I will not see this little guy - in front of any numbers. HOW AWESOME!! <br />
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I know there are those of you out there who will say, "But I love experiencing all four seasons;" or "But I love grass - you won't have that." Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure that at some point I'll look at those romantic pictures of freshly fallen snow and miss it; I'll miss the smell of freshly mown grass. Yes, I don't doubt you there. <br />
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BUT I WILL NOT MISS DRESSING IN LAYERS AND NEVER HAVING WARM TOES!!! <br />
I just like being warm. So, for a season of my life, it seems like God is going to let me be warm. :)<br />
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The end. Don't hate. Just visit. A lot. I'm sure I'll miss you more than the snow OR the grass.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-70623678328720121362011-01-16T12:48:00.000-06:002011-01-16T12:48:02.521-06:00The Vocation of MarriageI am excited to get married in the Catholic church. Today, it dawned on me what a blessing it is to get married (and to be married) in the Church that views marriage as a calling...not just a choice.<br />
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The New Testament reading today comes from 1 Corinthians 1:1-3: "From Paul, <i>called</i> to be an apostle of Christ Jesus <em>by the will of God, </em>and from Sosthenes, our brother, to God's Church which is in Corinth; to <strong>you</strong> <em>whom God has sanctified</em> in Christ Jesus and <em>called</em> to be holy...." As I thought about this, I was reminded of John 1:12-13: "But to those who did accept Him, He gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in His name, who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice, but of God."<br />
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Interestingly, this past week was "Vocations Week" in the Catholic Church. A vocation is a calling to a life of service. The Holy Orders - priests, sisters, brothers, deacons (maybe? I'm not quite up on all my Catholic insider knowledge) - and Marriage are considered vocations. A <a href="http://www.thepracticingcatholic.org/">friend</a> posted on her blog about vocations this week that we should develop that mindset of '<em>who</em> is <em>God calling you</em> to <em>be</em>?', not '<em>what</em> do <em>you want</em> to <em>do</em>?' when you grow up.<br />
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This view of marriage as a calling and not just a choice is a bit radical for our day and time. To be called means that God has initiated this marriage & love and we are simply responding. It has weight. meaning. responsibility. action. But, it also lifts the burden. Let's look at that verse from the 1 Corinthians, Paul describes sanctification (holiness) as a gift; our response (to be holy) is simply to walk in the way (live) of that gift of holiness. <br />
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This call to marriage is similar. The love that God has given me <em>for</em> Dan; the love that God has given me <em>in</em> Dan; and the love that God pours out on me <em>through</em> Dan is an incredible gift. It is a blessing. Responding to that gift by establishing a lasting covenant with God and each other is also an incredible gift. Our response to this gift of each other and our bond is simply to walk in the way of covenant love. <br />
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I love that our God is a God of covenant love. He is our perfect example and picture of love that sacrifices; love that gives; love that rejoices; love that celebrates; love that prays; love that forgives; love that forebears shortcomings with patience, understanding and grace; love that gives grace upon grace; love that never gives up; love that hopes; love that acts; love that is always faithful; love that is loyal; love that is constant; love that provides; love that lavishes; love that grows deeper, wider and higher; love that overcomes; love that never fails. What a gift to learn how to walk in this love; to bestow this love upon another; to be loved by another in this way. <br />
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Marriage is not only a choice; it is a calling. I say this because in today's world we view choices as things that are not binding. We can change our mind; we can take it back; we can return it for a better model. A calling is a way of life; it is who we are - not just something we do. The <em>calling</em> of marriage reminds me that what God wills, God accomplishes. My role in marriage is to seek Him first, to walk in His love, and to view Dan as my gift from Him...and learn how to treat him thusly. It will not be easy, but with God all things are possible.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-25253254541641485872010-12-24T14:24:00.002-06:002010-12-24T14:42:26.697-06:00An early, but long-waited & eagerly anticipated Christmas presentWell, the point of Advent season is to prepare ourselves for the coming of Jesus - both celebrating when He was born in the stable, when He came to reside in our hearts, and when He will come again. The theme of advent is patience. <br /><br />Ah, patience. A hard gift to appreciate. I've spent much of this season wondering if what I hoped & longed for would come to fruition. While I hoped for it, I prepared myself for the fact that it may not come...but, still, I hoped.<br /><br />Well, on the morning of Thursday, December 23rd, Dan woke me up (by poking me in the face) and requesting that I come downstairs. I was far more interested in remaining in my bed where it was warm. He said, "It's warmer downstairs! Come on! I've got an ornament for Mom & Dad and I want to show you!" Well, I got up and went straight downstairs...in my pajamas, with my bedhead, and glasses.<br /><br />I had this fleeting thought that maybe Dan was going to propose - but, when you've thought it could possibly happen for awhile, you learn to dismiss those thoughts. :) So, I came downstairs, tyring to focus (I really need new glasses!). He was waiting by the tree and started pointing out some ornaments and explaining their history. As I'm looking at some of the ornaments, I notice one of two penguins wrapped in a red scarf. The scarf had writing on it. The writing said, "Will You Marry Me?" I looked at Dan and said, "Really?" (I wasn't really sure if that ornament was for me...or was somebody else's...like one of his brothers had proposed that way. I don't know. I just wasn't sure if it was for me. When you've waited 31 years, you want to be sure that it's really for you before you go saying, "Yes! Yes!")<br /><br />He said, "Yes. Will you?"<br /><br />I said smiling and laughing, "Yeah! Yes! I'll marry you!"<br /><br />So, there you have it. I'm engaged.<br /><br /><br />Also FYI...when you've spent your life being single and you're me (which means it's okay to think about silly things like reception decorations but not actual details like dates), it's a bit daunting to be asked WHEN the wedding will be when you've been engaged for less than a day. :) So, keep your ears open - we'll let you know!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-38588658064482304912010-12-18T17:31:00.003-06:002010-12-18T17:51:54.319-06:00Oh, JosephMatthew 1:18-25<br /><br />This is how Jesus Christ was born. Mary his mother had been given to Joseph in marriage but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.<br /><br />Then Joseph, <em>her husband</em>, made plans to divorce her in all secrecy. He was an upright man, and <em>in no way did he want to discredit </em>(disgrace) her.<br /><br /><em>While he was pondering over this</em>, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, descendant of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. She has conceived by the Holy Spirit, and now she will bear a son. <em>You</em> shall call him 'Jesus' for he will save his people from their sins."<br /><br />All this happened in order to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 'The virgin will conceive and bear a son, and he will be called Emmanuel which means: God-with-us.' When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had told him to do and <em>he took his wife to his home</em>. So she gave birth to a son and he had not had marital relations with her. <em>Joseph</em> game him the name of Jesus.<br /><br />I love Joseph. Mary gets so much attention - and rightfully so. Hers was an extraordinary leap of faith to trust that God could cause her to bear His son - to believe that it would happen to her just as the angel said - to believe and submit, even though "the world" would condemn her for being 'just another unwed teenage mother.' (Oh, maybe that was still a scandal, back in the day.) <br /><br />I love Joseph, though, because he is one of those quiet, faithful leaders. Matthew describes him as upright (or righteous); he was righteous because he wanted to "do right by others and by God" - not because he kept the letter of the law perfectly. (although he may well have) I love that, though betrothed, he is referred as her husband; and she as his wife. I love that he deeply loved & respected Mary, evidenced by his desire to "in no way discredit/disgrace her."<br /><br />I love that he pondered over this - probably prayerfully. While in prayer, God spoke to him. I love that God had big plans for Joseph in the birth & raising of Jesus. It was Joseph who was charged with naming Jesus. It was Joseph who gave Jesus his heritage as a "son of David," part of tribe of Judah, a root of Jesse's tree. <br /><br />I love that Joseph did just as he was asked. We never hear a word uttered by Joseph, but we can learn much from his example. He wanted to do right by Mary and by God - without regard for himself. When given a message from God, he believed it and faithfully acted. Oh Joseph, you were the perfect husband for Mary and father for Jesus. <br /><br /><em>Commentary by Joan Chittister, OSB:<br /><br />Mary is for us a sign of faith; Joseph, a sign of compassion.<br />Mary trusts God in every aspect of her life.<br />Joseph trusts the mercy and plan of God, as well.<br />Mary turns her life over to the will of God.<br />Joseph trusts that goodwill underlies human nature.<br />Her faith and his compassion are measures of our own.</em>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-33882788555783012392010-11-25T07:32:00.002-06:002010-11-25T07:54:33.913-06:00Rite of WelcomeI wanted to recount a little bit of the Rite of Welcome service. It was so powerful and beautiful - beyond anything that I had expected. What exactly I had expected, I'm not sure. But I didn't think it would be so powerful or captivating. Certainly, Sister had kept back most of the details because she wanted us to be caught up in the moment. As a few of us "planners" were lamenting this prior to the service, (because we need to plan to be spontaneous) she was right. We needed to NOT know all the details, so that its beauty could captivate our senses.<br /><br />As she described it, we would each state what we ask of God and His church; then we would all grasp the cross; then be signed with the cross. Bada-bing, bada-boom, done. So, we thought the hardest part would be coming up with something to say. (Which wasn't that hard, it just required really thinking about, "why am I here?") I said something to the effect of, "to share in the fullness of their faith and for a place to serve, to give, and to love." Of course, I could've said much, much more - but we were limited to a sentence. (see how I joined two sentences with that lovely conjunction "and"? Yep, always getting around those rules, I am!)<br /><br />As a group (there were 10 of us), we grasped the cross in response to the question, "Are you ready to take up your cross and follow Christ?" Then, we moved onto the signing. I thought it would just be a one-time sign and we'd be done. But noooo...<br /><br />Our sponsor (someone who is already a member and will serve as a mentor for us through the next phase) signed us with the cross. The priest would read what I am about to write, Mary would sign me, and then the choir would sing, "Christ will be your strength, learn to know and follow Him."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your forehead. It is Christ himself who now strengthens you with this sign of His love. Learn to know and follow Him."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your ears, that you may hear the voice of the Lord."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your eyes, that you may see the glory of God." (at this point, as Mary signed my eyes - I felt such heat and was reminded of something that a friend prayed about my eyes once.)<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your lips, that you may respond to the word of God."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your heart, that Christ may dwell there by faith." (which reminded me of the time I was in 1st grade and wanted to see Jesus, so I closed my eyes and 'looked into my heart' and saw Him calming the waves.)<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your shoulders, that you may bear the gentle yoke of Christ."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your hands that Christ may be known by the work you do."<br />"Receive the sign of the Cross on your feet that you may walk in the way of Christ."<br /><br />After each sign, I would look out at Mary - and the joy that radiated was incredible. The joy that radiated from me was incredible. I really have no way to completely capture what I felt - but I have never felt so welcomed, so loved, so connected, so much a part of something so much bigger than myself. As I took part in this, I really felt connected to all who have gone before me, throughout the centuries, those now, and those to come. <br /><br />I truly feel part of the Body of Christ. I know that, yes, before this I was a Christian and I was a part of it...but, trust me, I now KNOW it deep within...that I am connected to the communion of saints, which has strengthened my bond with the head, which is Christ.<br /><br />To close, an appropriate Psalm for today: <br /><br />Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.<br />Serve the Lord with gladness: come into His presence with singing!<br />Know that Lord, He is God; it is He that has made us - not for ourselves; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.<br /><strong>Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise; be thankful unto Him and bless His name.</strong>For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting and His truth endures to all generations!<br /><br />(Psalm 100)Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-67309698478343537022010-11-20T16:44:00.003-06:002010-11-20T17:00:55.098-06:00WelcomeTomorrow I will participate in the 'Rite of Welcome' at St. Thomas Aquinas Church. This is the public step toward becoming a member of the Catholic Church.<br /><br />Have those two sentences tripped anyone up yet? Well, I'm not surprised if it has. If you know me, you know that this was not a rash decision, but one that has been given much, much thought and prayer over the last (almost) two years. (I was going to say it wasn't an emotional decision, but if you know me, you know that I feel things deeply - so, there have been plenty of emotions playing a role.) The reason why you haven't heard much about it is because, well, for whatever reason, I am very aware of people's reactions, and prefer harmony over discord. Therefore, while I feel (and think) very deeply that this the right path for me, if I'm not really sure how you'll respond, well, I just tend to avoid it. Right or wrong, that's how I roll. :) (totally stole that from Paige Van Voorst)<br /><br />I often say that I never would have imagined that my path would have involved joining the Catholic Church. I didn't. I think that's one of the reasons for my above actions; it's a shock to me, why wouldn't it be to others? But, while I have come to this humility that truly says, "Lord, I am the clay. You are the Potter;" and in that submission have been experiencing a fullness of my faith never found before...not everyone has responded the same way I have (hence my peace-maker nature of avoidance). <br /><br />However, I think fullness is the appropriate word for what I have received thus far. Fullness of faith, joy, unity, place, and inheritance. I cannot explain it, but I have received this through my journey within the Catholic faith. The place of where and even the manner of how I worship has changed, but the God of/over All has not. It is my prayer that we all will be able to express in joy, in love, in humility, in grace and mercy what He has done and is doing for us. God is greater and moves in many suprising ways. As he continues to teach me humility and submission, I pray that we'd all be ready to see Him work wonders in our day.<br /><br />"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with JOY!"Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-20710892589883884132010-11-03T20:36:00.003-05:002010-11-03T21:55:47.585-05:00How do you measure 8 years in a life?On January 6, 2003, I started my first day of work as a advisor with the TRIO Educational Talent Search program at Iowa State University. I thought I *might* be there a year, year-and-a-half before getting married and moving away. (No, I wasn't dating anyone at the time; why do you ask?) On January 5, 2011, I will have my last day as 'Advisor' before starting a new journey the next day...becoming a full-time grad student, and teaching assistant for Ag 450.<br /><br />I had no idea how hard this would be. In mid-August, I realized that I need to finish my degree, so that I can move forward. As I've progressed through my classes this semester, I have begun to think that (perhaps) I might like teaching at the university level. (I know, right?) SO, I asked about any assistantships in our department. Lo & behold, there was ONE coming available for the spring! <br /><br />The challenge is that it's Ag EdS 450, the senior capstone course for Ag Studies majors where they learn how to manage a farm by managing a farm. To quote my brother, "How are you going to teach THAT class?" Trust me, Brother, already had that concern...and yes, that concern does still linger. The second challenge was figuring out if I can live on an assistantship "salary." I can make it work, BUT I'm very open to part-time work! 5-10 hours, please - hit me up. The biggest challenge was approaching my boss. How do you approach something like this? I was at a complete loss. The only solution for me was to pray. And pray. Pray some more. Recruit my "circle" to pray, and pray, and pray some more. It went well...beyond anything that I could have imagined or hoped for. I received the blessing of my director. <br /><br />What caught me off guard, though, was the emotion behind the decision. Everything above was about me, my decision, my life. It makes sense to make a move like this. Right? The night before I met with my director, while talking with Dan about this, I just started crying. It wasn't about me, anymore - but my students. How can I walk away from them? <br /><br />It was then that it began to settle in just how blessed I have been to have this job - this privilege - to work with my students. My goal in life, the reason I chose my major, the reason I took this job, was to "positively influence others to realize their potential in life." I get frustrated when I feel like I'm not doing this; when I feel like "my kids" just aren't getting it. Then, God gives me these moments where I can see just how blessed I've been to be doing that what I've always desired to do. <br /><br />So, this brings me to the title line. How do I measure the past eight years of my life? (thinking of this brings tears to my eyes) My students. Their families. The brothers and sisters. I have been blessed. I don't know how to say good-bye to you all...only to count you all as blessings. I can only hope that my next job will be such a blessing; filled by people who bless me. <br /><br /><br /><br />I mean really, in what other job do you have students devote entire facebook posts to you - that are GOOD?! Or say "RIP J-Rohr" and cause school controversy? Or cause other teachers to say, "She's just leaving. Is it that big of a deal?" Or say, "if only the next advisor is just 1/3 as cool..." You guys have made this journey worthwhile. It's all been for you. :) Much love & many blessings!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-42262829199731091272010-10-19T16:55:00.001-05:002010-10-19T16:57:23.485-05:00Leaps of faithGod invites us to a leap of faith because it is the closest we humans get to experience the freedom of flying.<br /><br />That's a Jessica Rohrig original folks. <br /><br />Stay tuned for a life update! (Coming tomorrow - or some time thereafter!)Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-41193312150549885462010-09-19T20:47:00.002-05:002010-09-19T21:22:03.585-05:00Spare ChangeOn June 30, 2010, my grandpa, Joe Kremer, passed away. He fought a long fight, battling kidney failure. While I've meant to blog about him, his life and his passing - I hope I'll get to that. This post is different.<br /><br />Yesterday, my cousin Valerie and I went to Grandma's to help her sort through Grandpa's clothes. Before I got there, she mentioned to Val that she wasn't ready to get rid of things, quite yet. So, we just helped her look through the clothes in Grandpa's closet and decide what to give/let the grandsons/son/sons-in-law have...and organize things. <br /><br />My Grandma is a perpetual saver. As Val put it, yesterday we may have found someone who had just as hard of a time throwing away things as Grandma: Grandpa. In his top drawer, we found artifacts from the last century. Alongside about 50 white handkerchief were prayers for meetings/meals he'd been asked to bless; funeral programs from those near to him, including my great-great grandfather (and "namesake") Jesse O'Neel; old pictures; a get-well note that my aunt Barbara wrote him, and much more. We found dozens of old campaign buttons from the last 40 years: Reagan, Dole, Grassley for CONGRESS, Brandstad for Lieutenant Governor - and Grandpa's button for the Iowa Presidential Caucus as a Reagan supporter. It was incredible! Did you know that candidates used to promote their campaign with plastic combs and nail files? I didn't! I'm really thinking that these items need to be donated to the State Historical Society...and also thinking about putting all of Grandpa's political memorabilia and notes that he's written together. "A Snapshot of a Public Servant"...<br /><br />Cleaning out Grandpa's drawers was a history lesson. He saved a silver dollar from 1921 - his year of birth. He collected many old coins. Did you know Dwight Eisenhower was on the silver dollar? Ben Franklin used to be on the fifty-cent piece! Speaking of the fifty-cent piece, Grandpa saved a fifty-cent piece with Kennedy dated 1964 - the first year it was issued! These coins may not be worth anything (more than their value) monetarily. But they were significant to Grandpa. You kept things like that because it was significant to your life. <br /><br />Grandpa's drawer and dresser-top had a lot of spare change (not historically significant coins). We collected it and put in Grandpa's spare change container. After sorting through items, organizing, and cleaning, I found Grandpa's wallet on the dresser. I saw it, and said to Grandma, "Do you want me to put this in the drawer?" She said, "Nooo. I like it there. I like to think..." I said, "That he might be coming home to get it?" She smiled, "Yeah."<br /><br />Today, I was cleaning some spare change off of my desk. Doing this made me think about Grandpa's dresser. How many years has it been since Grandpa walked in and emptied his pockets? Probably two-three? Yet, there was the change. <br /><br />Then, I realized that, unwittingly, by clearing off the dresser, we were reminding Grandma that he's not coming home. Maybe what we're doing is helping her grasp "the present reality"...and I can see the good in that, but I also know we can't force it. She loved Grandpa with such depth, such faithfulness, such loving constancy. To understand the depth of love, you need to know her. I have been blessed just by knowing them and witnessing her devotion. The day Grandpa died, my heart broke watching her say good-bye to the only man she ever loved. May God bless her and hold her close.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-2987792472626833442010-06-18T08:24:00.004-05:002010-06-18T08:46:17.443-05:00THAT guyFor all you Wayne's World fans out there, I realized today that I am Chris Farley's character. In reference to him, Wayne says, "You know, for a security guard, that guy had an awful lot of information." Well, that's me.<br /><br />It's Orientation season at Iowa State. This month, 5000 new freshmen and their parents descend upon ISU, two days at a time, to register for classes, get their ISU card and their first bout of "Holy crap, this campus is huge and I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going" feeling in the pit of their stomach. Truthfully, I love this time. BECAUSE I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE! I really enjoy helping a family figure out the best route to Beardshear, or the best place for coffee on campus, or how to figure out Cy-Ride (since it took me about 10 years of living in Ames to be brave enough to attempt it), etc. <br /><br />Currently, I'm a bus rider on the Orange route. This route stops right in front of Maple Hall, where the Orientation-eers stay. Every morning, about 10-20 get on the bus going to places like the Memorial Union. Now, if I was a Cyclone Aide, I would NEVER recommend that these folks take the Orange route to get to the MU. Seriously? From Maple, you'll get there in 5 minutes on foot. Maybe 7 if you walk like a middle schooler. On the Orange Route, it's at least a 10 minute ride...granted, that ride is air-conditioned, and in this humidity when you're a freshman girl dressed to impress the freshman boy with your freshly straightened hair...well, the ride might be worth it. I DIGRESS....<br /><br />This morning, I decided to chat up my seat-mate. She'll be majoring in Biology and living on 8th floor Larch. I proceed to tell her about my experience living in Willow and how much I LOVED hanging lofts because of all the space they free up; how creative people get in their elaborate designs to create space & extra room; how all the athletes lived on 8th floor Larch, back in the day. (Back in the day is actually an applicable phrase for this girl, now. 12 years ago when I was in her shoes, she was 6! ayiyiyi.) I refrained from telling her it was the big party floor...she doesn't need to know that; she'll figure it out. And hey, the party could've moved to first floor by now! (Which was the nerdy quiet floor 12 years ago.)<br /><br />AND THEN I remember that 8th floor Willow couldn't have the ultra-cool hanging lofts BUT they did have ultra-high ceilings, so you could have ultra-high lofts - still freeing up space. So, I told her she'd need to check on that.<br /><br />All of this information was spewed out in the ride from Maple to Kildee...which lasts no more than 5 minutes. Arriving at Kildee (and knowing she was registering for classes today; yes, we covered that, too), I asked her where she was going, since she didn't seem like she was moving. [I'm telling you, she was soaking up the information I was providing!] :) She replied Bessey - which is right across the street from Kildee. Informing her of this, she quickly got up, grabbed her mom and we parted ways.<br /><br />I felt so helpful! Then, as I thought more, I remembered this guy:<br /><object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fDgzThsMd1Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fDgzThsMd1Q&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-47115745246668218792010-04-27T14:44:00.002-05:002010-04-27T14:53:42.156-05:00PRO.DUCT.IV.ITYI've had a very productive day, so far - and I still have two hours left!<br /><br />Here's what I decided: <br />I need to finish this degree. <br />As SOON as I can. <br />So, next year, I am going to take two classes each semester and be done.<br />I think I'm going to start doing my research this summer, so that I can really be done. It'll be work, but, I'll have some time freed up. <br />To do this, I need to get my committee lined up. Two appointments on Thursday and one on Monday. We are locked & loaded. Hopefully, they all agree; 1 is in; 1 has given verbal agreement to Dan; 1 has no idea.... :)<br /><br />I'm one of those people who really has to WANT something, in order to do it. Once I feel it; once I KNOW; look out, I'm ready to get the truck in gear & get moving.<br />I've known from the beginning that I need a committee. I've known since last year what I'd like to research. But, I haven't "felt" the need to get it done. I do now.<br />I'm ready. It's time. Let's do this. <br /><br /><br />I also want to start running again. Anyone want to join me? I'm a take it slow & ease into it type. That means, I follow a regimen where we start off running ten minutes - one minute on, one minute off - and work our way up to 17 minutes straight; one minute walk break; 17 on. It's the perfect training for a 5k. I think I might work up beyond that, though.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-88992845055711255722010-04-27T13:30:00.002-05:002010-04-27T13:33:24.681-05:00San Diego, Post 1I spent last week at a SAEOPP Priority 3 training in San Diego.<br /><br />This post has nothing to do with the "me" time at San Diego; that will follow. This is just a post about what I learned. YES, I DO learn while on my "exotic" work trainings! :)<br /><br />SAEOPP trainings do not disappoint! This training was very beneficial and relevant. This training focused on proven retention strategies and assessments. I really appreciated all of the theories supporting student retention and the different strategies that implement these theories. Currently, I am taking a graduate level Educational Psychology course. This training fit in seamlessly with what I have been learning, and provided many ideas. Programmatically, it was a very timely training since we will be writing our grant this summer and access to proven strategies targeting retention & preparation will help us meet the changes.<br /><br />I have used the SWOT (Strengths – Weaknesses – Opportunities – Threats) Analysis a couple of times before. We used this a lot in our training. I like its simplicity & effectiveness. I think I will start using this with my students as a needs assessment & a resource to develop goals. It’s such a helpful way to think about our resources/options when making a decision.<br /><br />One of the best parts of this training was our group project. We were assigned to a mentor-group and we had to develop a model focusing on student recruitment/retention or assessment. Our group focused on the necessity of early recruitment to circumvent the drop-out process. We located relevant data, created a model based on our research & different theories we’d learned and presented it. It was such a great project to really implement research into practice. I personally really liked it because I can get intimidated by research or developing models – but, this was ‘easy’! I also love collaborating with other people to come up with something creative and relevant.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-67624733752479213922010-03-21T07:43:00.002-05:002010-03-21T08:21:59.043-05:00The Importance of FamilyI've been thinking about this post for about ten days now.<br /><br />Two Wednesdays ago (I think), my dad posted something similar to this as his facebook status: If you've had a daughter that has touched your life, post this as your status. Daughters are an amazing gift. He then added: 'Thank you, Jessica, for the sunshine that you bring to my life and the lives of so many others!'<br /><br />I needed to hear that on that particular day. My dad has a way of saying the right thing when I need to be reminded of truth. When I was a college freshman and trying to figure out my path in the world (and not always selecting the best path), he wrote me a letter. God has used that letter in so many ways. In that letter, he told me about the joy that I had brought to him, the concerns he had for me as his daughter (knowing the ways of the world). It wasn't preachy; it was just honest. I read that letter over & over again when discouraged - in college and after - or when I just needed a reminder that life is worth the wait. One thing he wrote was, "Jessica, you have an enthusiasm for life - and that enthusiasm is catching - so don't lose it!"<br /><br />I love my dad. I have been blessed to have him as my father. Knowing my dad has helped me to know my heavenly Father. Often times, when I am talking with my dad about some situation where I need advice or to vent, I'll find myself saying, "God, it just doesn't make sense!" (then I correct myself because I'm talking to my dad, not God) It's easier to understand God's caring, providential heart for me because of my dad's generous, wise love for me. (My dad has not given me everything I have wanted - but I believe his example has taught me that we can approach the throne of grace with confidence to find aid when we need it.)<br /><br />To say all this, shouldn't in any way take away from my love for my mother. I am equally indebted to her for the lessons she has taught me. Our relationship is different, though. She's the one that you want to talk to after you wreck your car - because as soon as you hear her voice, you know that you can just let it go. It's okay to cry. You don't want to talk to Dad right after something like that (you might get in trouble), but your mom - she'll give you a hug. :)<br /><br />I believe that God has a design in families to point us to Him. I think of how I equally love and yet differently respond to both of my parents. I believe that we respond to our fathers as we respond to God the Father (fear & trembling, deep respect); and we respond to our mothers as we might respond to God the Son. In both, we respond to their strength, love, grace, mercy, justice, kindness & compassion. <br /><br />I think the family is the first place that God displays His plan for us. I know that it was through my parents that I finally understood what it meant to 'live for Christ.' It breaks my heart that there are those who haven't known the love, provision & strength of their earthly father or the compassion & kindness of their mother. We have the choice to how we'll parent/love/discipline our children and how we'll respond to our parents...and we may not always do it "right." But, I do believe that God can use even that to turn us toward His heart, as well. We are but human; we cannot do it on our own. We can approach the throne of grace with confidence to find what we need, in the hour of our need.<br /><br />In Deuteronomy, God says that the sins of father will be carried out through the third & fourth generation of children; but for those that love Him, He will provide for them through his covenant of love to the thousandth generation. Psalm 61:5 says, "You have given me the heritage of those who fear your name." <br />Surely, God has graciously blessed me. I am humbled by that gift and responsibility. I pray that I will provide that same heritage for my children. <br />Thanks Mom & Dad, Grandma & Grandpa, and all who came before you.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-16205954653781452612010-02-08T20:30:00.002-06:002010-02-08T21:22:26.016-06:00The Crisis of "Self"This is for my students, especially those in college, for I believe that you will encounter this during your years in college; I did. I write this not to make you believe like I do, but so that you know that if and when you encounter this moment, you are not alone. There is hope; I'm sharing my journey with you. You may choose to disagree and that's fine; it's your right. I just want you to know my story for future reference...and I want you to know that I care.<br /><br />For those of you with psych or education majors, you are taught that the most important thing you can do in this life is to "self-actualize." What does this mean? Well, I think that it means that you discover who you <em>actually</em> are. It's supposed to be good. You are supposed to find out that you are good. Well, that isn't what I found (and I don't think that'll be what you find). I went on the journey and found that I was lost. hopeless. scared.<br /><br />We're taught that in this self-actualization process, we will find joy, hope, peace, and fulfillment if we do the things we really want to do. If we pursue those things, then we will be fulfilled. Well, as a sophomore in college, honestly, I had it all. (by most definitions)<br /><br />I had made the Dean's list every semester; I was involved in clubs on campus - in fact, I was an officer in 3 clubs; I had good friends with similar interests and a roommate that I got along with; I went to parties. One thing I lacked - a boyfriend. Oh, if only I had that! THEN I would be okay. THEN my life would make sense! So, let's check off what I had to fulfill me: academic success, respect from peers and adults, friendship, popularity and parties.<br /><br />But, I was empty. Oh, I was SO empty! I had all these things which were supposed to satisfy, but I didn't feel satisfied. I felt alone. I wondered what the point of it all was. If these things didn't satisfy, what would? At points, I felt despairing (not like depressed or ending my life...just restless), but no one knew that. No one knew the questions that I was wrestling with because you aren't supposed to talk about that. <br /><br />What I knew that I needed and craved was unconditional love. If I had that, THEN my heart could rest. So, I pursued boys. One in particular - my best guy friend (who should've fit the bill, right?). Well, February of my sophomore year, some events transpired that changed our relationship. I was left feeling like I meant nothing. <br /><br />This was the last straw. At this point, I realized that I couldn't do this on my own. I could not direct or run my own life because I kept screwing it up!<br /><br />[A moment for some background: I grew up going to church. When I was 13 or so, I confessed my sins and believed that Jesus died for my sins. I believed that He was my Savior. At this point in college, I still believed that. Knowing Him as my Savior was where it stopped, though. When I started college, I said to God, "Thanks for all your help thus far, but from here on out, I've got it. See you in heaven!" At different points in high school, I wondered if "being saved" was all there was to this God-thing. If that's the goal, why are we still here? What's the point of the rest of life? Did I miss something? When I got to college, though, I was ready for the 'life about me' to begin. I intended to go to church, but I didn't like the Ames version of my church at all. So, I stopped going.]<br /><br />So, I'd had it. When I pursued life, I found that it eluded me. I thought that my peace, joy and fulfillment would come through success, involvement, popularity or relationships - and it didn't. Pursuing the desires of my heart did not satisfy. Knowing myself - or serving myself - did not take me higher. It brought me lower.<br /><br />At that point, I decided to get serious about God. I would commit to going to Salt on Thursday and Cornerstone on Sundays. I read the Bible sometimes (because my parents did and they seemed to know a lot). Life started to make sense again...and then, God really turned the lights on. <br /><br />That summer, still boy crazy and convinced that love was the answer and marriage would be the ultimate solution, I joined a Bible study. During prayer requests, one girl said that she wanted to love Jesus as her husband. To me, marriage has always represented unconditional love. Suddenly, I got it! If Jesus had loved me enough to die for me, then He loved me unconditionally. HE loved me! Here, I found the love that I'd been longing for. Here, I also found the great truth I'd been searching for: if He demonstrated his love for me in this dramatic way, then I needed to respond to this action - in an equal response of love. So, I gave Him the only thing that I truly had to offer: myself.<br /><br />Don't ignore the gnawing in your stomach. Don't ignore the questions. No matter how much you drink, you can't escape them. No matter the trophies that fill your shelves, you won't be filled. I believe the questions and the gnawing are there for a reason. We were created for more than to serve ourselves. We were created to do more than just satisfy our own desires. <br /><br />I tell you this, my friends, because the great paradox of self-actualization is that it does not fulfill. Knowing yourself won't lead to satisfaction, but knowing God will. Since that moment of surrender, I have found peace, joy and fulfillment. Because I know God, I'm able to better enjoy this life, my job and my relationships because I don't expect them to offer me things that they can't and were never designed to do. (Granted, I am not perfect. I do slip in my devotion & understanding of where my security and hope should rest. However, God is very faithful and patient to point out error and lead me back to truth.)Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-78301453578082397422010-02-08T09:55:00.002-06:002010-02-08T09:58:01.255-06:00Perspective on snow & holidaysChristmas gets us excited for winter. The coming of Christmas, the celebration of Jesus’ birth, the chance to take a break and rejoice about being thankful for a year of God’s blessings toward us gets us excited and leaves us feeling hopeful. So, we view the falling snow as a breath of fresh air – a reminder that we should rest, that we should simply be still for a moment and enjoy the hush of quiet that snow brings. We are reminded that our daily to-do list isn’t quite so important and that there are things in this world that can super-cede our constant need to be doing & working. We welcome it because we need a reminder that life goes on even when we rest. We need a reminder that we don’t possess the control over things that we try so hard to command. We need a reminder to stop and look up to heaven. We need the snow to quiet the world so that just maybe we will listen for the still, small voice of God who still calls out to us.<br /><br />…and then, for the next two months straight, it keeps snowing. <br /><br />Now, we don’t welcome the snow. We’re tired of it. We’re tired of looking out our window and seeing a mono-chromatic world of gray. We’re tired of being cold. We’re tired of trudging through snow every day and having to step cautiously just in case the freshly fallen snow is hiding a giant sheet of ice. We want to dress up and wear heels. We want to do it and not have to wear 3 layers over top which just wrinkles the dress. We want to do our hair and not have it be ruined by falling snow or the donning of a stocking cap. (Okay, well, that was just written from MY perspective.) We want something look forward to – that reminds of things that are good, true, beautiful and loving in this world – because the present outlook is bleak.<br /><br />Along comes Valentine’s Day. I know all the complaints against it – it’s commercial, it’s stupid, it’s an excuse for greeting card companies to rake in some more money, it makes your singleness sting worse, it’s just another day with a burden of expectation. But, I look at it as a day to do something specific to remind the person that you care about just how much you do and why. Sometimes, we just need that reminder. We need the extra warmth in the touch of a hand; the gentleness of a kiss; the deep, warm-you-to-your soul feeling of being cherished and knowing it’s real & true. <br /><br />Maybe we shouldn’t need a day prescribing it because it should just be something we do…but, just maybe, we do. <br /><br /><br />Those are my thoughts. I like days that give me an excuse to celebrate life and love. It just so happens that on February 14th, I get to do that times two.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-28175787344695593442010-02-03T21:56:00.002-06:002010-02-03T22:07:17.661-06:00Everybody cut footloose!I. LOVE. FOOTLOOSE.<br /><br />I am so, so serious. Here are just many of the reasons:<br /><br />1. The lines: Jump back!<br /><br />2. The scene where Ren defends the history and sacredness of dancing. "And David danced before the Lord. And doesn't Ecclesiates say, "There is a time to weep and a time for laughter; a time for mourning...and a time for dancing. And this is our time for dancing." <br />I actually tried using this in a friendly discussion with a high school classmate who said that he wouldn't be attending the Homecoming dance because it "leads to other things." I responded indignantly, "I have NEVER wanted to have sex with anyone I've danced with!" Anyway, when I said, "Didn't David dance to glorify the Lord?" He said, "Is that really why you're dancing?"<br />Okay...he had me there. <br /><br />[back to the list]<br /><br />3. The 80s! I just LOOOOOVE the 80s. And this movie is chock-full of it!<br /><br />4. When Ren has a problem, he just "dances it out." (in an abandoned warehouse!)<br /><br />5. The dancing.<br /><br />6. THE MUSIC!!!<br /><br />7. The memories...this movie always makes me think of Jena Hansen.<br /><br />8. The theme song always makes me think of Pam. Please request that she do the dance for you.<br /><br />9. Small town ignorance, religious fervor, teen angst, rebellious music & dancing...red cowboy boots - need I say more?<br /><br />10. GLITTER ON THE DANCE FLOOR!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-2063051455183749962010-01-28T10:59:00.002-06:002010-01-28T11:06:21.565-06:00My thoughts on MosesI've been doing the 'Read Through The Bible' plan and yesterday was reading Exodus 3 & 4. I recommend reading Exodus 3 & 4 to get the context. My major thought is around Moses response to God's call and then what God says in return.<br /><br />God appears to Moses in the burning bush. God then tells Moses his plan to rescue his people. He specifically says, "<strong>I have come down</strong> to rescue them and to bring them up out of Egypt and into a good and spacious land. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people out of Egypt." (I cut some out)<br /><br />But Moses said to God, "<strong>Who am I</strong>, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"<br /><br />And God said, "<strong>I will be with you</strong>. And this will be the <strong>sign to you</strong> that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."<br /><br />Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you and they ask me, 'What is his name?' then what shall I tell them?"<br /><br />God said to Moses, " I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites 'I AM has sent me to you.'"<br /><br /><br />When we are called to an impossible task in our eyes, or one that we think is difficult and will require more of us than we think we can actually give, we ask, "Who am I? God, who am I that you would ask this of me? Pick someone else, someone who's better, who's stronger, who's holier, who's smarter, who's (fill the blank of your personal weakness) ." We think that when God actually sees who it is that He has just called, He will say, "Oh, you're right! I did mean to ask the <em>other</em> Jessica Rohrig - not you. How ridiculous of me!" Obviously, the God who sees and hears could easily mix us up with someone better suited for the job. We probably do need to help Him out in that regard.<br /><br />Instead, how does He respond? He tells us that He will be with us - and not just that, He'll give us a sign that we can trust Him - that it really was the LORD who called us and not just some weird hallucination. But, on top of that, He says (in essence), "Do not worry about who you are - or even who you are not. The question, my dear one, is not 'Who are you?' The question is, 'Who am I?' When you ask, 'But, Lord, who am I to do this?' Remember that I AM the one who will do this."<br /><br />The question, who am I? God answers by telling us to not to focus on us, but on Him. He who formed us knows that we are but dust. He knows our weaknesses and our imperfections - but, He is the one who has chosen the weak things of this world to shame the strong. He is the one who wants to display what He can do in a weak, but willing vessel to the watching world. He's not asking for us to turn in a stellar performance or to astound him with our abilities; He's asking for a willing and obedient heart to hear Him and to follow His leading and obey His call. That's all. The hard parts, the obstacles, our stubborn & sinful hearts, He'll take care of. He'll either move them or He'll make us stronger by working through us as we move them. He will be worshiped and glorified as the Lord of the Universe one day, but for right now, He simply wants us to make Him the Lord of our hearts and lives.Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-6012790027571688922010-01-26T11:47:00.002-06:002010-01-26T12:05:06.986-06:00Books vs. MoviesThis morning, I was listening to Jan Mickelson on WHO. A guest (author) was discussing whether he would prefer one of his stories made into a movie or to just continue in print, through generations. He remarked that he would prefer his stories remain in print because they will continue to be read. He said that once a movie is made, it may receive hype and glory for a season, but it will fade. Stories continue to be treasured, read, shared and discussed.<br /><br />A movie can help a story gain wider recognition from an audience the story alone may not have reached. However, once the movie passes out of our consciousness, who remembers it? Unless a movie gains a foothold in our experience, it will fade. Classic novels, though, continue to be read and passed on through generations. Classic novels can be enjoyed at any age.<br /><br />A movie draws us into a storyline or help us fall in love with a character, but the actual novel commits us to the story (or author). Case in point: I wasn't a Jane Austen fan growing up. I may have caught part of Pride & Prejudice or Sense & Sensibility on PBS, but it didn't hold my attention or implant itself in my vein of consciousness. I had not read any of her works; it wasn't required reading in my high school. We had American Lit, not Brit. I watched the 2005 Pride & Prejudice (with Kiera Knightley) and really enjoyed it. I decided to read the novel, though, because a friend had mentioned that this movie just didn't capture the characters. That summer, I read Pride & Prejudice. This was followed by Sense & Sensibility...followed by Emma...followed by Persuasion. Needless to say, I am a fan.<br /><br />I've seen a variety of movies for each storyline. Some capture the story; some are horrid. I am glad to have the knowledge of the true source, though. It is so much richer than the movie.<br /><br />I think of the Chronicles of Narnia. I started reading the series in 4th grade. Even then, I could understand the symbolism used to identify characters and Biblical events. I watched a PBS version of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I'm glad I had read the book first - because after watching that, I would not have been interested in reading the novel! Movies must be well done. Simply creating a movie to bring a story to life or appeal to a wider audience isn't enough. It must be appealing in order to appeal! Now that Disney has produced some Narnia stories, the stories are accurately depicted and very well done. Hopefully, these movies can be bait to lure a new audience genre into the books!<br /><br />As Lavar says, though, you don't have to take my word for it! Pick up a good book today!Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2058815695648088444.post-28885977339230972022010-01-25T21:02:00.005-06:002010-01-25T21:20:11.005-06:00Times Have ChangedSo, you know that the focus of your lives have changed when this picture<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430881364992482626" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1xN4e8wTWTCMlSyfvtBUcK27K44h02HY5ujiqBygiqANfGlt-EfhCDHOWtBbEbzxmtPAjKbtTlq4UOb9tXgJIvfCi-ngEwWCTibWS5yuMtw100Q8OwwQQMtw-TzZsfnOTMQrhjqPNmmWJ/s400/IMG_1525.JPG" border="0" /><br /><div><div><div><div>is replaced by this one:<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430881355558454962" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWPWvq93TIsNVMWeVDPcLiU7wyAbAfeRklzlDpyRlb7R0D8z2qt9sLMw0AssfUBb0M21buOMN0TGEGG11nkWpK5aEmuow2s1Ttl2I77JlHDIsS_7uKBacYaY_91yxObB175gC92Ie-O4cz/s400/DSCN0053.JPG" border="0" /></div></div></div></div><br /><p> </p><p>This is my best friend Pam's daughter, Victoria. I've never seen a baby pose like this before! ADORABLE! </p><p>I've thought that Victoria looks more like her dad, but now that she and I have a picture like this together, I might have to change my vote! </p>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12663971832520621345noreply@blogger.com3